Sunday Levity: Geopolitics of The Boss

If only Rajnikanth would be president

Sivaji - The President

GreatBong took the post our of this blogger’s mouth. Although some INI bloggers have revealed a surprising lack of appreciation—not to speak of refined taste—on this matter recently, a President Rajnikanth is likely to transform geopolitics and Indian foreign policy.

But things will be different if Rajinikanth becomes the president. People will start caring. To put it mildly. There will be mini-riots in Malaysia when the President of India comes visiting. People will throw confetti and popcorn when he comes to inaugurate a government building. They will fly down from Australia to hear him address the nation on TV. When President Mush tries to browbeat him, he will flip his glasses around, raise his finger and wag it in the General’s face.

Then when he rejects Afzal’s mercy petition and even after that the Arundhati Roys come to ask him to “reconsider” , he will thunder:

Naan oru dharavai sonna nooru dharavai sonna maadhiri. (If I say it once, it’s akin to having said it a hundred times.)

Just imagine the great Roy’s face after that.

Our neighbourhood friends, who waste no opportunity to try to harm us, will know that the commander of our armed forces is no wuss.

Chittoor Thaandina Kaatpaadi, Sivajiya cheendinaa Dead Body!” (If you cross Chittoor you will reach Kaatpaadi, If you tease Sivaji Rao Gaekwad you will become a dead body!)

And that no matter how much they gang up against us, they should remember:

Kanna panninga dhaan kootama varum, singam single-a dhaan varum (Pigs come in a gang, only the lion (India) walks alone.) [GreatBong]

19 thoughts on “Sunday Levity: Geopolitics of The Boss”

  1. Nitin,

    “Andavan solran. Arunachalam seiran.”

    Yes, some INI blogger(s) do exhibit the shocking lack of taste. I can only assume that as John Kerry said Bergman has been seared deep into their memory. 😉

  2. Chandra,

    A herd of pigs does not constitute an “alliance”. Based on my prefunctory knowledge of porcine society I think it’s generally ‘every pig for himself’. But The Boss is not entirely right about leonine society either.

    Because lions hunt in open spaces, where they are easily seen by their prey, teamwork increases the likelihood of a successful hunt. Teamwork also enables them to defend their prey more easily against other large predators like hyenas, which can be attracted by vultures over kilometers in open savannas. The males attached to prides do not usually participate in hunting, except in the case of large animals such as buffalo. [Wikipedia]

    Alliances, it turns out, are for Lions. On the other hands pigs—unless they are domesticated or females & piglets—are found alone.

    (There’s also a possibility that Rajni fans will accuse Wikipedia of being incorrect)

  3. Who are these INI bloggers? I demand their immediate removal from INI.

    Act right now Mr Pai, or we shall burn your cutout next.

  4. Rohit

    Sorry, I’m not cut out for this. Why don’t you launch the witch-hunt yourself? And burn the heretics.

  5. Nitin, teamwork is not the same as alliance. Even the teamwork is for a limited reason (without the lazy males, of course) – bringing down the large beast. Once the prey is down, it’s every lion for itself eating separately (with the lazy male mates eating up most share). Hardly an alliance material!

    Hyenas on the other hand are alliance material.

    True, wild boars rarely move together (but they’re hard to track and kill). But then most countries are hardly wild, they’re more like domesticated pigs. 🙂

  6. I say nominate Krish. He is truly secular, anti-Hindutva, left-leaning and what not. The best part, it might be improper/unconstitutional for a President to blog. Perhaps Ninad can shed some light on that.

  7. This is a pleasant and sweet shock! Nitin Pai is a fan of Rajni!!!

    (Now pls don’t say I was only saying “even though I may not agree with Rajni-style acting, I will defend to death his acting in movies 😉 “

  8. Bala,

    Being a fan requires a wholly different level of admiration (bordering on worship).

    I’ll just say that he gives you more than your money’s worth in terms of levity.

  9. Sriram,

    That too. But how can he spread fear and awe in the minds of India’s enemies if he can’t do that thing with his sunglasses, bite a cigarette, and wag a finger at them?

  10. Gosh! Nitin are you seeing Krish as a replacement for thalaivar? I threw his name as a totally different alternative :). Regarding the sunglasses, I thought you were meaning Krish’s sunglasses. And you will agree my candidate has a different style and different set of punch dialogues 😉

  11. Some more reasons why Krish should be the President

    * His uncle did not shit in the middle of a rice field
    * His brother did not pee in front of his neighbor’s house
    * His mother didn’t borrow a cup of sugar she from the next door neighbor
    * His grandfather did not screw a person’s ass with his walking stick
    * His street people do not claim that his sister hid her friend’s toy inside the toilet

    You know what I am saying? 😀

  12. Sriram,

    Why is Krish hated so much? I only read him once when Nitin linked a post of his. Just give me the reasons and dont ask me to read his blog.

  13. Sriram,

    No I meant the Thalaivar’s sunglasses.

    RS

    On the contrary, I love his blog. If you read it, you will too.

  14. Nitin,

    Going by your definition of a fan, I am no fan of Rajni. So I will just say He’s _the_ real slim shady, Long live _Thailaivar_ Rajnikanth. High may be his cut-out!

  15. RS, who hates Krish? Why would I nominate him for President if I hate him 🙂

    First people mock Thalaivar then they jeer Jagadguru this surely is Kal-Yug

    Look who is talking. Boy this sure is Kal-Yug 😀

Comments are closed.